


Better Luck Next Time

by beyondthesefourwalls



Category: 9-1-1: Lone Star (TV 2020)
Genre: Love Confessions, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-17
Updated: 2021-02-17
Packaged: 2021-03-12 02:22:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,713
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29502645
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beyondthesefourwalls/pseuds/beyondthesefourwalls
Summary: “I just wanted to talk to you. To hear your voice. It’s been so long.”“Your spin instructor left you, didn’t he?”There was a long stretch of silence that told him everything he needed to know before Alex responded to him, his voice small and shaky – intimidated, like TK’s had been so many times before with him.“He cheated on me.”He liked to think he was a bigger person, that he had left any kind of cruelty and smugness behind when he crossed the Texas state line, but TK couldn’t help the laugh that escaped him.“Well karma is certainly a cruel bitch, isn’t it?”ORIn which TK gets the closure that he deserves and lets himself fall in love along the way.
Relationships: Carlos Reyes/TK Strand
Comments: 18
Kudos: 441
Collections: 9-1-1 Tales





	Better Luck Next Time

**Author's Note:**

  * For [justLo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/justLo/gifts).



> My first fic for these two soft boys, and I could not be more excited! Many thanks to my Lo for helping to inspire me to open this back up after months of it sitting in a forgotten document on my laptop. 
> 
> Title from "Better Luck Next Time" by Kelsea Ballerini

**Better Luck Next Time**

_\-----_

_I got myself together, got a new attitude_

_Hope that I see you never, I’m so over you_

_Got myself together, you’re out of my mind_

_Now all that I can say is better luck next time_

\-----

After he had broken two iPhones in a year’s time, TK had a self-implemented rule that he didn’t put his phone in his pocket during calls. He left it tucked away safely in the truck, preventing any cracked or shattered screens that came as a result from running into unpredictable situations.

The call they had been on that night hadn’t been bad, but it had been long. Since moving to Austin, he learned that it didn’t matter if you were in New York or Texas, people still didn’t know how to drive in the rain. There was a five-car accident, and things always took twice as long to clean up and resolve when it was wet outside.

He was sitting himself down in his seat, shaking his hair out after throwing his helmet off, when he grabbed the device from where he had stashed it. He and Carlos had been in the middle of a texting conversation when they had arrived on scene, and as he hadn’t been one of the officers responding, he was anxious to continue it. The smile that was already creeping up on his face at the thought of it dropped as soon as he saw his notification screen. 

**Missed Call:  
** _Alex_

His eyebrows furrowed together tightly, and his breath caught in his throat in his surprise.

_What the hell?_

He had known that this was always a possibility – that one day their paths would cross again, and he would be forced to confront the disaster that was the end (or all) of their relationship. He had always been scared of that day, certain that his reaction would be devastating. He expected his world to stop. He expected the hurt that he had felt for so long after the proposal to cut into him, reopening the wounds that had since been sewn shut. He expected the itch to return beneath his skin that had led to his overdose. His life had revolved around Alex for so long – a year of flirtation and two years of a push and pull relationship. He expected all of the insecurities he felt in those years to creep back up on him. Yet as he sat here, staring at the name that had haunted him when he first came to Austin, he felt…close to nothing. A smidge of annoyance, maybe a little bit of disbelief. But there was no overwhelming sense of defeat like he anticipated there would be when this happened.

“Everything okay, kid?”

He looked up at the gruff voice, meeting Judd’s eyes from across the truck. He cleared his suddenly dry throat and nodded his head.

“Yeah, sorry. Just got trapped in my own head for a second.”

Judd gave him a questioning look, but didn’t push any further, to which TK was thankful. Right when he was going to ignore it all and shove his phone into his pocket, it buzzed

once in his hand. He froze for a second before looking down, letting out a short breath when he saw it was another text from Carlos. He felt the tension in his shoulders loosen and a small smile tug at his lips at the message.

_< <Dinner? _

His shift ended in less than an hour, Carlos’ in two, and he was more than ready to

spend the night wrapped up with his boyfriend. Pushing aside the unexpected missed call, he responded quickly.

_> > Sounds perfect. _

**\-----**

Dinner had been eaten and plates had been put away, and they had a movie playing on the TV before TK thought of it again. Carlos’ hand was resting comfortably in his lap, his fingers tracing small circles into his thigh seemingly on their own accord, TK tucked neatly into his side. He doesn’t know why it popped in his head in this moment, but once it entered, he couldn’t silence it.

Sitting up, he reached for the remote on the coffee table in front of them and clicked the flat screen off. Carlos looked at him with a raised eyebrow.

“I need to tell you something,” TK started, and he was surprised at the lack of nerves in his voice.

“Okay,” Carlos responded slowly, removing his arm from the back of the couch and his feet from the coffee table and sitting up straight. “What’s up?”

“My ex called me today.”

He can tell that the other man did his best not to look surprised. But the sharp intake of breath was all TK needed to hear to know that he caught him off guard.

“What did he want?” he asked after a moment of tense silence.

TK shrugged in response, “I’m not sure. I was on a call and saw the notification when I got back in the truck.”

Carlos nodded slowly, processing the words with a pensive look on his face. It made TK’s anxiety tick, not knowing what he was thinking.

“Are you okay?”

He laughed in surprise, amazed at the man sitting in front of him.

“You’re asking me if I’m okay?”

“Why wouldn’t I?” Carlos seemed honestly puzzled at his question, and TK couldn’t help the surge of warmth that spread through him. He leant forward, placing a soft kiss on his lips.

“I’m fine, Papi. I didn’t tell you because I was upset…I just wanted you to know. That’s what being in a relationship means, right? Sharing the good and telling one another when our shitty ex’s all of a sudden try to get ahold of us?”

To anyone else, he was the picture of confidence, but he knew that Carlos knew him better than that; he knew that he could sense the nervousness underlying his bravado. Despite that, his expression remained impassive, not a single line of judgement or hostility.

“Do you want to talk to him?”

“No,” TK said immediately, shaking his head forcefully.

“No,” he agreed slowly, shaking his head, “but do you _need_ to talk to him?”

TK’s eyebrows furrowed. “I don’t understand.”

Carlos’ face softened, his entire body relaxing, and he reached out to place his hand over TK’s. He squeezed gently before he brought his knuckles up to his lips to place a soft kiss against his skin.

“You told me that you never talked to him after the breakup.” By breakup, they both knew he was referencing the restaurant incident from Hell. When he didn’t respond, Carlos kept on. His fingertips never stopped running over TK’s skin from where their hands connected. “You were never able to talk to him about what he did to you.”

He mulled over his words for a few moments, and when he took a breath, he was surprised that it came out shaky. “I have you now.”

“You do,” Carlos assured him, nodding his head. He scooted closer to him on the couch so that they were flush together. “But just because you have me, doesn’t mean you’ve fully closed that door. You never got the chance for closure and…it’s okay if you need that, Tyler.”

Ten months ago, he would have agreed. When the ache in his chest felt like it would kill him, and he could still feel the impact on his body of the opioids that didn’t, he would have jumped at this opportunity.

But this wasn’t then. His life had changed so drastically since he had left New York. What he thought would be a permanent prison sentence ended up being the best thing that happened to him. He had a family in his crew – brothers and a sister he had longed for as a child, and he had a best friend in his dad again. And most importantly, he had Carlos. The man sitting in front of him was everything he had ever wanted and _so much more_ in a partner.

He couldn’t ignore, though, that despite all of that, he hadn’t been to go very long without thinking of the missed call since seeing Alex’s name on his phone screen. 

“I’ll think about it.”

Carlos leant forward and placed a kiss on his lips. Despite how gentle it was, TK felt his toes curl at the sensations it caused him. It was always like that with this man; he hoped it never went away.

“Whatever you think is best for yourself, okay? I’m in your corner no matter what.”

He didn’t know how to express what that sentiment meant to him. The words jumbled and stuck in his throat. Unable to even form a simple thank you, TK just nodded briefly.

He didn’t know what he had done to deserve this beautiful man in front of him.

**\------**

He was on shift two days later when he felt his phone buzzing in his pocket while he finished the dishes after lunch. The station had an industrial dishwasher but cleaning everything by hand soothed him in a way; the repetitive nature kept his anxiety at bay.

He wiped his hands dry on the dish towel and grabbed a mineral water from the fridge before bothering to check.

_< < Hey – it’s Alex. I’ve been trying to call you. Do you have any time to talk? _

He stared at the text for a long time.

He contemplated what to say, or if he should bother responding at all. He thought about Carlos’ words from a few days prior about if he needed to have this conversation. He didn’t know what good it would do.

It wasn’t until almost an hour later, after both cleaning the rig and a quick work out didn’t do anything to quiet the voice in his head, that he made a decision on responding.

_> > I get off shift at 7. Call me then. _

**\-----**

He had left the fire station at 6:30, having actually gotten off at 6, and had arrived home to a thankfully empty house. He had never been more thankful for all the paperwork that came with being captain.

He started pacing the length of his bedroom at 6:59, his heart thumping nervously in his chest as he wondered again why he was doing this.

His phone rang at 7:08.

He contemplated again on not answering it. He thought of how far he’s come in the last few months. He thought of the chip he kept in his wallet indicating how long he’s been sober – _again_. He thought of his dad and how good their relationship has been, of the family he had found at the 126.

And then he thought of Carlos.

Sweet, gentle, amazing Carlos.

With a deep breath, he brought the phone to his ear.

“Hello?”

“TK, hi.” The response was breathy, a sound that used to send the most pleasurable of chills down TK’s spine. Now, the sound did nothing for him. “After the first few times, I didn’t think you would answer.”

“I texted you to call me,” TK stated, his tone blank.

There was a pause on the other end of the line, before Alex let out a laugh that sounded nervous. “Right, right of course. You did.”

“What do you want, Alex?”

He knew that he caught the other man by surprise at his bluntness by the way he paused before stuttering out a response. Alex was almost always calm, cool, and collected. He was unapproachable at best, standoffish at worst; he never let the outside world touch him because he felt he was too _good_ for it. TK wishes he would have caught on to just how toxic that was before it all blew up in his face.

“I just-it’s been a long time, TK.”

“That’s not an answer.”

“I heard you moved to Austin.”

“I moved to Austin ten months ago. That’s not exactly news.”

“Right. I just wanted to check in with you.”

“Why?” TK questioned, because he honestly didn’t understand. He could feel himself losing his patience the longer this conversation went on.

“Would you believe me if I said it was because I miss you?”

“I don’t think you have any right to miss me,” he shot back without missing a beat, and he heard a small choke on the other line. It fueled the anger he was starting to feel course through him.

“TK…”

“What did you want out of this conversation, Alex? What did you want to achieve by calling me?”

“I just wanted to talk to you. To hear your voice. It’s been so long.”

“Your spin instructor left you, didn’t he?”

There was a long stretch of silence that told him everything he needed to know before Alex responded to him, his voice small and shaky – intimidated, like TK’s had been so many times before with him.

“He cheated on me.”

He liked to think he was a bigger person, that he had left any kind of cruelty and smugness behind when he crossed the Texas state line, but TK couldn’t help the laugh that escaped him.

“Well karma is certainly a cruel bitch, isn’t it?”

“TK-“

“No. Stop. You have no right. You broke me, Alex; shattered me into a million pieces and didn’t even care where they fell as you walked away. I gave my whole heart to you and looking back at it, I can’t say for certain that you ever let me even close to yours. I pined after you, and you let me latch on like a leech. You took _everything_ from me. But what did I get in return? My heart trampled on in the most vulnerable moment of my life. I didn’t think that I would ever get over you.” He took in a deep breath, letting the words sink in for the both of them. He felt like a weight was slowly being lifted off his chest and he could breathe again.

“I did, though,” he said softly, like he was realizing it for the first time. And maybe, in a way, he was.

“What?” Alex asked, and TK couldn’t help the small smile that tugged at his lips.

“I got over you,” he said, confidence building in him as he thought of the man that had helped him grieve and repair himself and grow. Once he started, he couldn’t stop. “I’ve moved on, you know. I didn’t intend for it to happen as fast as it did, but I met someone here and he – he’s amazing, Alex. God, he’s amazing. He’s considerate and gentle and _kind_ – so, so kind. He would give you the shirt off his back without a second thought if you truly needed it. And he’s so patient with me, even when he shouldn’t be. I was a wreck when we first got here. I was barely sober and thought my world had crashed down around me, never to be righted again, and he never pushed me to be anyone that I wasn’t. He embraced me for who I am and waited for me to figure out how to be better on my own terms. He – he believed in me, _believes_ in me, like no one ever has before. He makes me want to be better for myself. At the end of the day, I guess I should thank you. If you would have said yes, I never would have let my dad make me move down here. I never would have met Carlos and I – I can’t imagine my life without him in it. Not anymore.”

Silence stretches on over the phone line. TK was breathing heavily after his impromptu speech. His heart was beating heavy in his chest, and that familiar itch when he was craving something spread through his veins. He felt like he was on fire. He felt…alive.

“I have to go,” he said suddenly. He was already making a grab for his wallet and keys, fumbling to push them into his pockets without dropping them.

“TK.” Alex sounded lost, hesitant and maybe even a little bit desperate. A small part of him, the petty side that was buried beneath all of the happiness suddenly surging through him, was glad for it. He wanted this man to feel even a fraction of all of the hurt that he had felt once upon a time.

"I don’t know what you thought you were going to get out of calling me. But I’m glad you did. But please, don’t do it again. I’m ready to let this go – you should, too.”

Another moment of silence passes between them, and TK is close to hanging up when Alex’s voice sounds again.

“For what it’s worth…I did care about you. I promise I did. I’m sorry that it wasn’t enough.”

Even though the other man can’t see him, TK finds himself nodding. “Thank you.”

“Take care of yourself, TK.”

“Goodbye, Alex.”

He hangs up at the same time he is closing and locking his front door behind him.

He had somewhere that he needed to be.

**\-----**

Carlos barely had the door opened before TK was surging forward, trapping his face between his calloused hands and crushing their lips together. He felt the surprised moan against his mouth as his hands came to grip at his arms, returning the kiss with fervor. TK backed them into the house, kicking the door shut behind him as he slammed them against the wall. It was reminiscent of their first time together and amidst the cloud of passion currently surrounding them, he couldn’t help but think about how far they’ve come since then.

To his credit, Carlos barely missed a beat, giving as good as he got in their embrace. It’s all tongue and teeth and _heat._ TK’s hands went everywhere – trailing from his face down his arms and back, and finally grabbing onto his hips to haul him as close as he could. Their bodies clashed together in the most delicious of ways, lining up like a puzzle. Carlos runs his fingers through his hair, and TK moans into his mouth when he tugs on the strands. He bites down on his bottom lip, running his tongue over it to sooth the pleasant sting, and wanton heat flares through him straight to his groin when Carlos grinds their hips together.

“Not that – I mind,” he pants, tilting his head back so TK can press open mouth kisses against his jaw and down his neck, fumbling with the zip on his sweatshirt to get it down and push it off his shoulders, “but what – _fuck, baby,_ – brought this on?”

“I realized something tonight,” he accentuated the words with deep kisses before pulling away to tug at the hem of the shirt Carlos was wearing. “Off, off, off,” he commanded, and Carlos held his arms up so that TK could yank the worn cotton material over his head. He pressed forward, tasting the sweetness that was Carlos’ mouth.

“Care to – _God_ – share?”

Nipping at his lip again, TK pulled back with a smile, the action taking over his whole face. He pushed Carlos toward the couch, climbing to straddle his lap once he fell down onto the leather cushions. He trailed his fingers up and down his bare chest and couldn’t help but feel pleased when the man beneath him shivered in pleasure. He leant down, pressing his lips against his heart. He breathed in the scent of him, relishing in this moment, before moving up his neck until he could place a kiss on the shell of his ear. His heart fluttered in his chest. 

“I love you,” he whispered breathlessly, his voice low but the words spoken with more confidence than he’s felt in a long time.

He placed another kiss to Carlos’ skin before pulling back to look at his face. His dark eyes were wide, but it wasn’t shock looking back at him. It was wonder and curiosity and not for the first time, TK was blown away by how unbelievably beautiful this man was.

“You love me?”

The hesitant hope was TK’s undoing. He couldn’t resist leaning forward and placing another, softer, kiss on his already swollen lips at the same time he felt his eyes start to water with emotion. He nodded, somewhat frantically, when he pulled away.

“I love you,” he repeated, “more than I ever thought I was capable of loving anyone; so much that it feels like it’s going to burst out of my chest at any given moment, like it would have if I went another moment without telling you. And I know that it hasn’t been that long, so I completely understand if you aren’t there yet but I-”

His fumbled words were cut off by his boyfriend’s lips on his again. It was fleeting, before Carlos pulled back and brought one of his hands up to cup his cheek. TK couldn’t help but nuzzle into the warm palm against his skin.

“I knew I could love you from the moment I met you, Tyler. And I’ve been in love with you for almost as long.”

“Why haven’t you said anything?”

Carlos ran the pad of his thumb lightly against his face, his eyes never straying from his own. “I didn’t want to scare you away,” he admitted, “I knew you needed time to heal, and that you wouldn’t believe it until you could say it yourself.”

“I love you,” TK said again in response, once again overwhelmed at the pure goodness of this man. A man that he loved and who loved _him_ in return.

“I love you too,” Carlos said, “so much. And I am so proud of you, mi amor.”

When he leant forward to claim his lips in another kiss, he felt a sense of calm wash over him that he had never felt before. His world felt like it was perfectly aligned and, for once in his life, he was right where he was meant to be. He let himself think of the future, and for the first time since moving to Austin, the concept of forever didn’t scare him, or make old wounds ache. Instead, he saw the potential of life with the man pressed against him.

He couldn’t wait.

**\-----**

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos, and especially reviews, are so kind and so helpful to authors. Thank you so much for reading!


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